Life management insights, strategies, hints, ideas, and tips from Dr. DClutter™.

Friday, January 30, 2009

Month's End Review

Well, we're near the end of the first month of 2009. Can you believe it?? How have you done with your resolutions? If you ignored my post, you made them, so give me an update. If you read and heeded my advice, you should still be on track for changing habits and instituting your new goals. I've included the "New Year's Resolutions" post below for those of you who want a review. Either way, I hope you've been successful in your endeavors. If you've had a few successful failures, that's okay as well. I'll return in February (yes, I know that's Monday) with more life organization insights, strategies, hints, ideas, and tips. Happy-almost-end-of-the-month!!



New Year's Resolutions

HAPPY NEW YEAR!! WELCOME 2009!!

Every year around this time people make their New Year's Resolutions. You know the ones: I will lose weight; I will quit this or that. You manage to stick to your resolutions for a minute and then you return to old habits. Ah, the comfort zone.

Well, this year, let's be different. Don't make any New Year's Resolutions. "What, no New Year's Resolutions??!! Yes, she's finally gone off the deep end". No, I have not, not really. Instead of putting the pressure of changing multiple habits in your life because it's a New Year, focus on one that you really want to change. "But isn't that a resolution"? Possibly, but I don't want you to think about it as a "New Year's Resolution"-that's a loaded phrase and one that might cause you to set unrealistic expectations.

Change your language and your thinking and your behavior will change; change your thinking and your language and behavior will change. It may sound like a simple play on words, but since the majority of people break or abandon resolutions before the month is over, why add the pressure? Instead of saying and thinking, "I will become organized this year", say and think (and do), "I will take these steps to become more organized this year and then list them (and do them). This is a great example: I will join a gym to lose 10 pounds (you know 10 is the magic number for some reason); I will join a gym to lose 10 pounds, go everyday and work out for one hour; I will join a gym to lose 10 pounds and change my eating habits by eating breakfast, lunch, dinner and two snacks." See, those are very specific and planned goals.

Have a wonderfully organized year-one day at a time!!


Dr. D. Clutter™

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Dr. D. Clutter’s™ Wiseisms and Truthisms™ Daily Inspirations, Observations and Humorous Musings

 
Dr. D. Clutter’s™ Wiseisms and Truthisms™ Daily Inspirations, Observations and Humorous Musings provides you with doses of insights, truths, observations and humorous musings about everyday occurrences and life experiences.You'll encounter a new activity, insight, truth, and challenge or adventure daily. This book will be your companion to help you declutter your mind, body and space and maintain order and direction. As a bonus, you'll be able to record your own thoughts and observations. I call it a Booknal™ or a Bournal™; a book and a journal combined!! Enjoy. Click on each page for a closer look and order yours today. Also available in PDF (save up to $10 on S&H). 
 
 
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Dr. D. Clutter™

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Be the Tortoise, not the Hare

I constantly and consistently tell my clients that becoming organized is a marathon and not a sprint. Sure you can spend a week or two throwing out everything in your cluttered space until you can finally see the floor, but if you have not dealt with the underlying reasons you allowed the clutter to exist, you'll likely return to the old habit in a relatively short time. Take the time to discover why your clutter and disorganization began and you'll be more successful in your quest to remain organized. In this instnace, slow and steady wins the race.

Dr. D. Clutter™

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

It's snowing!!

A Snowy Bush
I love the winter. I'm like a kid praying for snow so that there will be no school and it came true!! It's snowing!! These are not the greatest photos I've ever taken, but who cares, it's snowing!! Enjoy.

A Snow Covered Holly Tree

A Snowy Street










Dr. D. Clutter™

Monday, January 26, 2009

You Might Be Controlling If…

Not so long I ago, I espoused the virtues of letting go. Well, some asked how you determine if you're in control or being controlling. I love Jeff Foxworthy's comedy routine, "You Might be a Redneck If", so in honor of that, here are a few hints that you've passed control and have become controlling. First, if you've voiced your concerns and not allowed ample time for a change in behavior to occur-you might be controlling (no, one hour is not long enough). If your blood pressure becomes elevated when you see one item out of place, you might be controlling. If your family leaves or hides every time you walk into a room, you might be controlling. If the dog refuses to go on walks with you, you might be controlling. Seriously, if your behaviors or habits are causing you and those around you more grief, frustration and aggravation than pleasure, it's time to reevaluate and make changes. After all it's funny on stage in a comedy routine, but not so funny if you have to live it every day.

Dr. D. Clutter™

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Walden University Alumni Magazine Article

What an exciting time this is for me and I wanted to share the experience with you. I'm featured in the latest edition of the Walden Alumni Magazine!! I send special thanks to Britta Alexander for this honor and allowing me the opportunity to share my world with you all and to Nancy Grund for her talent and beautifully written words.

Please read the article below and leave your comments or questions.

Simplify, Simplify. How to Declutter Your Life

Her mother claims she was organizing from the crib. Darnita Payden was the rare child who kept her toys neat and orderly and who helped classmates organize their school desks and notebooks. As an adult, she helps clients, friends, and family members organize their lives and spaces. “I have a great deal of empathy for people and want to see them live the lives they desire and deserve,” Payden explains. “I promote functioning at their best over seeking perfection.”

After years of working as a therapist, grief trainer, and educator, Payden has turned her lifelong quest for organization into a vocation. Through her life management company, PreciousOnes Decluttering and Organization, she helps individuals from all walks of life get organized and regain control of their lives. Here she offers the first steps to keeping your life on course.

Recognize You Need Help. Move past the stigma and the shame you might feel about your cluttered life. I’ve worked with business managers, teachers, and leaders in the community who are all very effective in their jobs, but their homes, and even their offices, may be disaster areas. One client loved buying bathroom accessories to the point where you could barely enter the room from all the clutter. She had pots and pans and an electric burner in her bathtub. Ask for help before you get to the point where you can no longer function.

Reorganize Your Priorities. List the things that are important to you from 1 to 10. Is your name anywhere on the list? If not, it is time to reorganize your priorities. The majority of people who have done this exercise with me don’t even mention themselves! If you are not in the equation, add yourself. If you don't, none of the other priorities matter.

Practice Saying ‘No.’ Make your precious free time more about yourself and your family. Say no to others, your stuff, and your relationships if they are not serving your greater good. You do not have to accept every invitation. I've gently taught those around me that “No” means “No,” and you should, too. Gracefully decline and send a “present” when your “presence” is not an option, if that makes you feel better.

Streamline Your Stuff. Begin living with less. Do you really need a television in every room of your home? How many pairs of shoes can you wear at one time? If you kept a journal of new purchases for a week or month, you would find that you don’t use half of the things that are occupying valuable space in your life. One client saved everything her two children had made throughout 12 years of school. She kept the macaroni art even without the macaroni. Remember, things don’t make memories—the memories are in your heart.

Start Small. To get started, pick a room or an office and start there. Break the job down to make it more manageable and to give you a sense of accomplishment. Rather than setting a goal of reorganizing your entire office, start with your desk. For one of my clients whose desk was completely filled with “stuff,” we had to narrow the goal even further: Clear the left side of the desk first. Assess every object and every piece of paper in the space and decide if you need it. Have your “toss,” “donate,” “recycle,” and “save” piles and files—but be prepared. Things may look worse before they look better. —Nancy Grund

Also, take the time to read the other featured articles in this edition at http://alumnimag.waldenu.edu/alumnimag.htm. They are timely, informative and insightful.

Dr. D. Clutter™

Commencement-A Moment in Time

You all looked as if you were having a great time. I was able to view some of the commencement ceremony online. What a rush, huh? The moment you hear your name called, you walk to the stage with a smile plastered on your face. Do I turn left or right? Do I shake hands or give a hug? Oh, what about the "bend" so that I'm short enough to allow the academic hood over my head? So many things to think about;so little time.

I watched and laughed as I saw that some of you were true celebrities, not concerned about the "bend", but wanted to make sure that the moment was captured in pictures. So there you were standing at full attention, looking straight ahead at the audience!! I'm not mad at you!! You wanted those who made the trip to see your face.

I took 48 of my family members and friends on the trek from DC to Indiana (yes, we rolled into town on a charter bus). When I walked across the stage, I too felt like a celebrity as my family went up with thunderous cheers and applause.

Today was a moment in time that you don't want to forget. I'm truly excited and happy for you all. Congratulations!!

Dr. D. Clutter™

Congratulations Walden Graduates!!

I hope you've enjoyed the journey and are ready to change the world. I remember my years at Walden (I sound really old) and the emphasis on social change; I can truly appreciate that in this day and age. The time is now for change and I'm sure you'll be one of the many who help facilitate that change. Enjoy your day and celebrate as if it is the best day of your life!!



I couldn't resist the urge to take a trip down memory lane, so this is a picture taken on one of the happiest, most exciting days of my life.

Yep, that's me on graduation day at Indiana University (that's where Walden held the ceremony). Love that fountain!!

I hope you've taken the time to capture those moments. You'll love the trip back a few years from now!!

Thanks for visiting and welcome to my blog. Now, take a few minutes to read the current and older posts and leave your comments. I look forward to sharing this experience with you all.

Dr. D. Clutter™

Friday, January 23, 2009

The End is Not Near

Here's a hard reality to get your day started; organization is not a destination, it's a journey. You'll always have to work to maintain an organized life; so don't worry about the end result, as it will keep changing. Just get started and keep going. Don't look for the light at the end of the tunnel, just keep going through and enjoying the journey.

Dr. D. Clutter™

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Look Up

Are you able to see the floors in your house? Has clutter and stuff taken over? Of course the first priority is to regain control, then declutter. After that, I want you to look up. This is not an inspirational message; I really want you to look up. Use the vertical spaces in your house to organize and store your things. Shelves, bookcases and filing cabinets are great uses of space. Just be sure to fit them to the scale of your room. There is nothing like having oversized furniture to make your room feel and look smaller. Aim high!!

Dr. D. Clutter™

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Compromise?

I worked with a client who was the clutterer in the family. Every room he entered, he cluttered. He would often say, "I don't know how this stuff ends up in here". As I chuckled (and he did too), he felt the weight of the statement. He realized (or at least admitted) in that moment that clutter has no hands, feet or mobility. It can't move unaided. We (along with the family) decided on a compromise. He would be responsible for keeping all common areas clear of clutter (along with the entire family). He had his own "man space" that they decided he would be allowed to keep anyway he liked as long as it did not affect the other members of the family. Not the ideal outcome, as the goal is always to help the client maintain order in every area of their space and in their life. However, as we continued to work together, a strange thing happened. Okay, it was not so strange as it was my plan all along. He started to maintain his space too!! The change was gradual, but I think he'll stick with it. We see each other on a regular basis for follow-ups and maintenance sessions that allow him to continue to refine and maintain his new habits. This has helped reduce the familial conflicts in this family.

Dr. D. Clutter™

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Presidential Parade

The President's Limo 
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President Obama on the parade route. 
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The First Family of the United States of America

Sasha Obama

This is a local high school band-Dunbar Senior H.S.

I hope you've enjoyed today's activities from the vantage point of my photos. If you have pics you'd like to share, let me know; I'd love to post them. It's been a long, but very exciting day. Have a wonderful evening!!

Dr. D. Clutter ™

More Pictures

President Obama and Vice President Biden



President Obama and First Lady Obama singing.

Senator Hillary Clinton










Former President George Bush

President Barack Obama during his speech.

Dr. D. Clutter™

More Pictures

President Barack Obama taking the Oath of Office.  
 
First Lady Michelle Obama watching her husband during his Oath. President Barack and First Lady Michelle Obama during the Oath. 

President Obama after the Oath.Posted by Picasa


Dr. D. Clutter™

More Pictures

Aretha Franklin singing My Country 'Tis of Thee
  
The American Flag

 President Barack Obama listening to My Country 'Tis of Thee
 

Aretha Franklin singing My Country 'Tis of Thee



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Dr. D. Clutter ™

Inauguration Pictures

It has been a great and exciting day!! I just wanted to take a few minutes to share some pictures from this historic time in our country's history. I hope they bring you joy!!

President Barack Obama
 

First Lady Michelle Obama
 
Aretha Franklin singing My Country 'Tis of Thee
 
 
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Dr. D. Clutter™

Mr. President


Today promises to be one for the history books. Things here in Washington, DC are at a fevered pitch!! Our city has swelled by the millions with those who wanted to witness the inauguration of President Barack Obama. You can feel the excitement in the air and see it on the faces of the multitude of people from all over the world. It's a great day to be a part of this race-the human race!!

Dr. D. Clutter™

Monday, January 19, 2009

Remember the Dream

Today we celebrate the birthday of a historic figure, Dr. Martin Luther King. Tomorrow our country will make history with the election of President-elect Barack Obama. Take the time to remember Dr. King's dream and also make the world a much better place than it was yesterday. Dream on!!

Here's the address for a You Tube video of Dr. King's, "I Have a Dream" speech: youtube.com/watch?v=PbUtL_0vAJk or simply type "I Have a Dream" in your search engine.

Dr. D. Clutter™

Friday, January 16, 2009

Goals and Plans

I've touched on goal setting before and will probably do so many more times. It's such an important aspect of any organized existence. First, make sure that you start small. There's nothing more frustrating than having a goal or plan and becoming so overwhelmed that you scrap it before you've had the chance to succeed. Next, be specific. A goal without a direct plan of action and desired outcome is ripe for failure, so don't allow that to happen to you. Finally, don't be too rigid. Be willing to make concessions or sacrifices. The best goals and plans are those that allow you to be flexible and won't cause you to break them because you couldn't achieve what you set out to do.

Have a wonderfully organized weekend!!

Dr. D. Clutter™

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Rank Order

With our hurried lifestyles, it's often hard to give the attention to those people we say are valuable to us. You can't be all things to all people, so don't even attempt it. Those people who are the closest and most important in your life should be given the most valuable gift of your time.


Dr. D. Clutter™

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

OPP (Other People's Property)

Here's a warning: Don't do it and don't allow it. What am I talking about? OPP or Other People's Property. If you are already having problems with storing your things and are disorganized and cluttered, why would you allow someone else to bring or store their "mess" in your space? I know many people who have so much of Other People's Property in their homes that they should charge a storage fee!! Stop it!! Don't allow a friend, neighbor or adult child (you know who you are) to use you home as their self-storage unit. If it's at your place, obviously they don't need it. Of course, if it's going to be a short-term issue, you have a DEFINITIVE DATE of removal and the space to do so, by all means-help. If not, get their stuff out and don't allow it back. Take inventory today and clear the clutter!!

Dr. D. Clutter™

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

The Sky's the Limit

Do you find that you limit yourself based on current circumstances? Money is tight or you don't have the education and experiences to accomplish a task. I know I've been guilty of doing that-limiting myself. But one day while I was speaking with someone on the phone, this occurred to me: if I allow myself to dream, plan, think and reach to a higher level I will be able to do greater things. I want that for you too. Think about it this way: the higher you allow yourself to dream, plan, think and reach the higher you can climb and succeed. So think of the sky as the limit and do it!!


Dr. D. Clutter™

Monday, January 12, 2009

Pick Your Battles

Unless you live alone, you'll have to compromise at some time in your life in order to save your sanity. I used to be "highly interested, but not obsessed" (that's my story and I'm sticking with it) in the way the bathroom was organized and maintained. The hand mirror had to face a certain way, the toilet paper had to hang over, not under, you know-particular. Hey don't judge. Oprah likes it that way too and devoted part of her show to that very issue (the toilet paper in the bathroom issue). I'm sure this is a heated discussion in many American households too (probably not). I would become slightly "agitated" if the toilet paper roll was left empty and no one bothered to change it or if liquid soap was not refilled or replaced and if the lights were left on, but no one was in the room. Then one day I decided that it was not worth the battle and the agitation and stress, so I let it go (sort of). The point here is not really about the organization of the bathroom, but really about how we allow things to interfere with our greatest living. Am I saying that you should not speak up about things that bother you? Certainly not!! What I am saying is that you should pick your battles to reduce your stress. After all, in all likelihood, you're the only one whose blood pressure is rising as the others go about their daily (albeit disorganized) lives. Sure, occasionally I still "gently" mention that the toilet paper should be replaced when it's gone and lights should be turned off when leaving the room, but mostly I simply do those things myself and move on. It's the battle I don't want to fight anymore and that releases me to do other things.

Dr. D. Clutter™

Friday, January 9, 2009

One

Getting your life in order is a lot like weight loss. Gaining weight is usually a process that takes weeks, months or even years and involves complex processes and reasons. So too is disorganization. More than likely, you didn't become disorganized overnight and you will, in all likelihood, not become organized overnight. Take it one step, one piece of paper, one item of clothing, and one gadget at a time. You'll get there and you'll appreciate the effort and journey.

Dr. D. Clutter™

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Keep Out!!

Today you get to use your artistic talents. Get a piece of letter-sized paper and write two simple words in BIG, bold letters-KEEP OUT!! No it’s not for your spouse, children or in-laws, it’s for you. Now, post the sign in an extremely conspicuous space so that you have no choice but to see it. This is your constant reminder to keep clutter and disorganization out of your life. Of course the sign without effort is moot, but it's a simple, yet highly effective method. Try it.

Dr. D. Clutter™

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Child's Play

When my niece was a little girl we played a game to help her better manage her time and become more organized. I would give her the challenge of beating the clock (or me) in completing a task, such as picking up her toys or books, finishing her homework or chores and getting ready for school and bedtime. That way, she could have fun, while learning great time management and organization skills. She relished getting a star on the achievement chart, earning a treat or reward, but mostly she enjoyed being able to say, " I did it". My goal was to encourage her toward self-fulfillment and increased self-esteem for a job well done. She's a preteen now, so I hope that the games we played still have an affect on her, as she gets older. Take the time to help shape your child today.

Dr. D. Clutter™

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

The Planning Game

I had the most interesting conversation with an old, dear friend. He asked if people were suffering from the recession in DC as they were in the small southern town where he resides. "Of course", I said. But since we have a large population of high-income earners, it may not appear that the city has suffered as much as the rest of the country has (but many have). I mentioned that money is tight for many people I know, but that some were spared from suffering the full extent due to having planned for such an occasion; you know, the "Rainy Day Fund". He apparently had suffered due to temporary company layoffs and other reasons. Now, he is by no means in dire financial straits, and still has a job (or two), his house and his vehicles. I must have hit the wrong note because he said that people who plan don't live life to the fullest and in some way are missing out on life. You could have knocked me over with a feather. I'm a life-long planner and don't feel that I've missed out on many of the things I wanted to do in life. Sure, there are things I'd still like to do, but my belief is if I can't afford it, I won't go into debt to have it (with exceptions of course for family, health, education and a home). His take was that if he wanted something, he bought it, despite the outcome or consequences. This is my point: life should be fun, full of adventure, exciting and all, but if you live your life believing because you see it, you should have it, you have to be willing to accept the consequences of your choices. Sure this recession and hard economic times have affected some who planned, as it is no discerner of person-it affects who it will. The moral to the story, rethink who your friends are (JUST KIDDING), but seriously, plan for rainy, snowy, sunny, dry, windy, cold, and hot days. Then when those trying times come (and they will) you'll at least have a fighting chance.

Dr. D. Clutter™

Monday, January 5, 2009

How to Start?

I'm often asked how and where to start and my answer almost always is-small and where you want. Yes, I know most people are expecting me to say start here or start there, and I do, after I drive home the point to start small. As long as you view getting organized as a huge undertaking, you'll likely never start. But if you "start small", say a desktop or a dresser top, you'll likely be more successful than if you think of decluttering an entire room at once. Baby steps are in order. Start small.

Dr. D. Clutter™

Friday, January 2, 2009

New Year Goals

You survived 2008!!

You survived New Year's Eve and New Year's Day; so give yourself a well-deserved rest, but don't rest too long. Okay, that's long enough!! Let's hit the ground running and take those steps I wrote about yesterday to start changing your life. What's on your mind today? Well, I'm really thinking about goals especially after the big "no resolutions" pep talk.

So why do we put so much pressure on the first day of the New Year? Well, it's because it's a "blank-slate" type of a day. The year is new, we feel revitalized and we don't have any failures (or what I call successful failures, but more on that later or read my books) to weigh us down. I love the New Year, but why not decide to change because it's Friday, it's May or because you truly want to change? That's the best time to "resolve" to change. By taking change gradually, in stages, you'll give yourself multiple opportunities for success. So follow these steps and see where they take you. Set your goals. Write them down and post them. Tell others about them. Don't be shy-share. Be specific (no generalities allowed here). Be realistic (you cannot lose 50 pounds by February, or at least you shouldn't). Give yourself time-specific frames for achievement (and revisit weekly or monthly to evaluate your success or successful failures). If you break your commitment to change into smaller components (goals), they won't seem as daunting and overwhelming.

Now get to goal setting!!

Dr. D. Clutter™

Thursday, January 1, 2009

New Year's Resolutions

HAPPY NEW YEAR!! WELCOME 2009!!

Every year around this time people make their New Year's Resolutions. You know the ones: I will lose weight; I will quit this or that. You manage to stick to your resolutions for a minute and then you return to old habits. Ah, the comfort zone.

Well, this year, let's be different. Don't make any New Year's Resolutions. "What, no New Year's Resolutions??!! Yes, she's finally gone off the deep end". No, I have not, not really. Instead of putting the pressure of changing multiple habits in your life because it's a New Year, focus on one that you really want to change. "But isn't that a resolution"? Possibly, but I don't want you to think about it as a "New Year's Resolution"-that's a loaded phrase and one that might cause you to set unrealistic expectations.

Change your language and your thinking and your behavior will change; change your thinking and your language and behavior will change. It may sound like a simple play on words, but since the majority of people break or abandon resolutions before the month is over, why add the pressure? Instead of saying and thinking, "I will become organized this year", say and think (and do), "I will take these steps to become more organized this year and then list them (and do them). This is a great example: I will join a gym to lose 10 pounds (you know 10 is the magic number for some reason); I will join a gym to lose 10 pounds, go everyday and work out for one hour; I will join a gym to lose 10 pounds and change my eating habits by eating breakfast, lunch, dinner and two snacks." See, those are very specific and planned goals.

Have a wonderfully organized year-one day at a time!!


Dr. D. Clutter™

About Me

My photo
I am Dr. Darnita L. Payden, Executive Director/Owner of Dr. DClutter™ Life Management, a division of PreciousOnes™ LLC. I have a Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology and over 20 years of experience working to help clients discover their strengths and talents. Having worked as a therapist, college professor, grief specialist and trainer, I have encountered in my journey many of the issues my clients may face. I have a sincere desire to help you find clarity, organization and independence in your life and environments. I know that life can be hectic, but I desire to help my clients bring as much order, peace and enjoyment back into their lives as is possible. What separates me from the norm? I focus on the client from a holistic perspective. I realize that most people desire a functional and an organized life, but may simply need support, understanding and information about why they have the habits or tendencies that have led to disorganization. I do not perform “quick fixes” or provide “one-size-fits-all” guidance, but I strive to provide strategies to my clients that will be life changing and useful for a lifetime. Dr. DClutter™ is a name well earned!!

Dr. D. Clutter’s™ Publications

  • Simplify. Simplify. How to Declutter Your Life
  • Clutter Makes You S.I.G.H.™
  • Declutter-Four Benefits of an Organized Life
  • Dr. D. Clutter’s™ 21-Day Journey to a New You
  • Dr. D. Clutter’s™ One-Day-a-Week Guide to a Year of Random Acts of Kindness (plus 20 extra days, just in case)
  • Dr. D. Clutter’s™ Wiseisms and Truthisms™ Daily Inspirations, Observations and Humorous Musings

Four Benefits of Organization

Four Benefits of Organization

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