Good Day, Bad Day

I can honestly say that I've experienced every emotion; some I like more than others. I can be a pretty upbeat, positive person, but I have also be sullen and depressed-and everything in between. But, have you ever had a day when you felt like both-upbeat and sullen and positive and depressed? Okay, if I am truly confessing here-I may have an occasional day when it's more an hourly thing-mood up and mood down-you know-LIFE. My solution? I accept both sides of my mood, but only allow one of them to color my life for any length of time. Can you guess which one I'm writing about? When I'm not feeling my best, I remind myself that just a few moments, hours or days ago, I was on top of the world and can and will be there again. So you see, I know that bad days happen to good people, but good people don't allow bad days to win. Your "bad" days don't outnumber your good days if you are truly honest with yourself.

Dr. D. Clutter™

Good Friends

You know you have a good friend when you haven't been one, but he's still yours.

Dr. D. Clutter™

True

A true friend knows all of your secrets and is still your friend.


Dr. D. Clutter™

I often read a small town paper online called the Daily Herald. In the opinion section, there is something called Sound Off! The purpose is for readers to share comments about what matters to them, ranging from topics about life in the city, politics and personal pet peeves, to compliments and complaints. I thoroughly enjoy reading Sound Off! and decided to offer something similar to you, my faithful followers. I love it!! In Sound Off! readers are encouraged to stay on topic, be respectful and the use of foul or obscene language, personal attacks or uses of another's identity to post are not allowed. The rules for what I am calling "Let Go!! with Dr. D. Clutter™" are the same. Every Friday is our official Let Go!! w/Dr. D. Clutter™ day. I'll post your advice, ideas, stories and thoughts. It'll be a place for you to share your life management and organization issues as well as discuss life events that inspire, empower or bother you. You can "leave it all here", as long as you follow the rules I discussed above. All comments will be reviewed before posting. So get ready, get set and Let Go!! w/Dr. D. Clutter™.

Dr. D. Clutter™

First Times

Do you remember your first time on a "big girl" bike or the first day of school? What about your first kiss, first love or first heartbreak? All of those "firsts" probably had one thing in common-FEAR. Here's the thing-in life we all have those experiences that scare us. The trick is remembering the times when you overcame that fear. You can ride a bike now (hopefully), you've made it through school (prayerfully) and you've found true love (maybe). So when fear overtakes you, simply take a moment to remember the "Firsts" in your life.


Dr. D. Clutter™

Hold Your Head Up

There are two good reasons to hold your head down. The first is if you're expecting to find money down there!! The second is to avoid stepping in doggy poop. Other than that, keep your head up!!

Dr. D. Clutter™

Something Good

For the most part, I'm aware of the good things that happen in my life, but recently I've started a new thing-writing them down. I've journaled for years, recording the events of the day, the highs and the lows-but now I make it a point to write at least one thing a day in my journal that was my "something good". Now I take that "something good" in any shape, size or form. It doesn't have to be big or memorable or even life changing. So, when life has not been as kind as it could be, I have a daily reminder that yesterday "something good" happened and that encourages me to know that it will happen again today.

Dr. D. Clutter™

Hopeful Expectations

Live your life full of hope, but take it a step further and live your life full of "expects" too. While you're hoping for something, anything to happen, also "expect" that it will. Those two together are powerful!!

Dr. D. Clutter™

I often read a small town paper online called the Daily Herald. In the opinion section, there is something called Sound Off! The purpose is for readers to share comments about what matters to them, ranging from topics about life in the city, politics and personal pet peeves, to compliments and complaints. I thoroughly enjoy reading Sound Off! and decided to offer something similar to you, my faithful followers. I love it!! In Sound Off! readers are encouraged to stay on topic, be respectful and the use of foul or obscene language, personal attacks or uses of another's identity to post are not allowed. The rules for what I am calling "Let Go!! with Dr. D. Clutter™" are the same. Every Friday is our official Let Go!! w/Dr. D. Clutter™ day. I'll post your advice, ideas, stories and thoughts. It'll be a place for you to share your life management and organization issues as well as discuss life events that inspire, empower or bother you. You can "leave it all here", as long as you follow the rules I discussed above. All comments will be reviewed before posting. So get ready, get set and Let Go!! w/Dr. D. Clutter™.

Dr. D. Clutter™

The Picture Queen

I am the picture queen. I love taking before, during and after pics to show people the progress they've made. Why? Because our memories sometimes betray us. We tend to remember the good not as good as it actually was; or we remember the bad not as bad as it actually was; or we remember the bad better than it actually was; or we simply forget to remember all together. Our memories may not be true representations of the actual events. A picture does not lie. Well, except for the ten pounds it ALWAYS adds on me!! But in other situations, it's a great "reminder" of our progress.

Dr. D. Clutter™

When a Trash Bag is More Than a Trash Bag

When I'm working with a client on physically decluttering a space, I always take a picture of the trash bags that we fill-up. Recently, one of my clients asked, "Why?" Well, it's a visual reminder of the physical freedom from the clutter and disorganization that once ruled her life. Each bag represents "things and stuff" that she has relinquished. Each bag brings her closer to being in control. Each bag represents "things and stuff" that can no longer hinder her from living the life she desires and deserves.

Dr. D. Clutter™

In the Present

With the recent deaths of such well-known people, it made me think. People die everyday, but most never get a two-hour special aired about their lives, nor do they get a "breaking news" notice to let us know they've passed on. Were their lives any less valuable or interesting? Certainly not!! Now, this is not a post about death-per say-it's about appreciating people in the present moment. Take the time to thank the person who holds the door open for you, or compliments you on a job well done. Take the time to thank someone who is just doing their job, but by doing so makes your life easier to live. Offer a helping hand when you can. However you do it, just make sure you do it in the present.

Dr. D. Clutter™

Change

With the historic election of President Barack Obama, change is a word we've heard a great deal about in the past year or so. We were told, "Yes we can", Yes we will", and even, "Yes we did". That was a great time!! But… how many of us have really changed in ways that matter on a personal, local, national or global level? See, change doesn't just happen because we hope it will (although hoping doesn't hurt), but as noted by the efforts of the people, change takes action. What can you do TODAY that will affect change, either in your own life, in the life of a friend, family member or stranger? What will you do TODAY that will affect change on a personal, local, national or global level? Allow yourself to say, "Yes I did!!" Remember it's not always the "great things" that matter, but those things that people deem to greatness.

Dr. D. Clutter™

I often read a small town paper online called the Daily Herald. In the opinion section, there is something called Sound Off! The purpose is for readers to share comments about what matters to them, ranging from topics about life in the city, politics and personal pet peeves, to compliments and complaints. I thoroughly enjoy reading Sound Off! and decided to offer something similar to you, my faithful followers. I love it!! In Sound Off! readers are encouraged to stay on topic, be respectful and the use of foul or obscene language, personal attacks or uses of another's identity to post are not allowed. The rules for what I am calling "Let Go!! with Dr. D. Clutter™" are the same. Every Friday is our official Let Go!! w/Dr. D. Clutter™ day. I'll post your advice, ideas, stories and thoughts. It'll be a place for you to share your life management and organization issues as well as discuss life events that inspire, empower or bother you. You can "leave it all here", as long as you follow the rules I discussed above. All comments will be reviewed before posting. So get ready, get set and Let Go!! w/Dr. D. Clutter™.

Dr. D. Clutter™

When to Quit

The word "quit" has gotten such a bad reputation. It happens to be one of my favs. We've been told to never give up, don't be a quitter and quitters never win. Well that's a lot of pressure. There has to be an end in sight somewhere. When is the best time to quit? When whatever you are engaging in doesn't bring you or the people you love, any benefits. When there's no love, joy, happiness, peace, reward, encouragement or payoff, it's time to quit.

Dr. D. Clutter™

The Moment

What's the most opportune time to stop reaching for your goals, joy and happiness when there's still a payoff and you still love what you're doing, but it's been a little difficult lately? The moment after you've taken your last breath. Any other time is unacceptable!!

Dr. D. Clutter™

The Hammer

While I was driving home the other day, I heard a story on the radio where the speaker told the story of how his father was trying to build something. The problem was that he didn't have the proper tools, so he asked for the "ignorant tool". "The ignorant tool?" I asked out loud. The hammer. "Oh", I said. You see, the father said that the hammer was used in situations when the proper tool was not available, but one wanted to complete the task anyway. It was a tool of force, capable of completing the "something", but possibly destroying it in the process. Sometimes in life, we all choose to use a hammer when another tool will work much better.

P.S. I wish I knew who told this story, but I only caught the program after it had begun. I'd love to give credit, so if anyone knows; it was told on 104.1 FM in DC.

Dr. D. Clutter™

Believe?

Why is it so difficult to believe in the positive things in our lives, but so easy to believe in the negative?

Dr. D. Clutter™

I often read a small town paper online called the Daily Herald. In the opinion section, there is something called Sound Off! The purpose is for readers to share comments about what matters to them, ranging from topics about life in the city, politics and personal pet peeves, to compliments and complaints. I thoroughly enjoy reading Sound Off! and decided to offer something similar to you, my faithful followers. I love it!! In Sound Off! readers are encouraged to stay on topic, be respectful and the use of foul or obscene language, personal attacks or uses of another's identity to post are not allowed. The rules for what I am calling "Let Go!! with Dr. D. Clutter™" are the same. Every Friday is our official Let Go!! w/Dr. D. Clutter™ day. I'll post your advice, ideas, stories and thoughts. It'll be a place for you to share your life management and organization issues as well as discuss life events that inspire, empower or bother you. You can "leave it all here", as long as you follow the rules I discussed above. All comments will be reviewed before posting. So get ready, get set and Let Go!! w/Dr. D. Clutter™.

Dr. D. Clutter™

Just in Case You Missed It!! On the Radio-Again

Hey, just in case you weren't able to catch me on the Walden University radio show talking about life management, feel free to listen. I'd love to hear from you.


Dr. D. Clutter™

My Own Company

Most people don't like being alone on a Friday night. Okay, most don't like it any night, but this is when a good dose of self-contentment is so valuable. If you're great company "to" yourself and "for" yourself, in time, I believe that patience will bring good company.

Dr. D. Clutter™

Racing Mind

There are times, usually at night when it's quiet that my mind seems to go into overdrive. Thoughts and ideas seem to bombard my mind when I'm trying my best to get some much needed and desired rest. Sometimes, I lie in bed and mull over the thoughts. They seem to play over and over as if they're on a loop. If mulling doesn't bring me resolution or relief, I have to get up and move. If that still doesn't work, I have to write out the thoughts and ideas that seem to want to linger. By doing this, I am freeing my mind from the need to remember or deal with the thoughts and ideas at that particular time. This is especially true if they're negative or difficult thoughts that require a solution. If they are, mulling doesn't work for me. I have to deal with them at that moment, no matter the time. That way, I break the cycle because if I don't, I remain restless and may even become more frustrated. As a last resort, I ask God to "tell my mind to shut-up". That's the only time I use those two words, "shut-up" and let me tell you, it works!!

Dr. D. Clutter™

Foolish Talk?

Out of the mouth of babes come wonderful thoughts and ideas. Out of the mouths of fools come a lot of apologies. Which one do you strive to be?

Dr. D. Clutter™

I often read a small town paper online called the Daily Herald. In the opinion section, there is something called Sound Off! The purpose is for readers to share comments about what matters to them, ranging from topics about life in the city, politics and personal pet peeves, to compliments and complaints. I thoroughly enjoy reading Sound Off! and decided to offer something similar to you, my faithful followers. I love it!! In Sound Off! readers are encouraged to stay on topic, be respectful and the use of foul or obscene language, personal attacks or uses of another's identity to post are not allowed. The rules for what I am calling "Let Go!! with Dr. D. Clutter™" are the same. Every Friday is our official Let Go!! w/Dr. D. Clutter™ day. I'll post your advice, ideas, stories and thoughts. It'll be a place for you to share your life management and organization issues as well as discuss life events that inspire, empower or bother you. You can "leave it all here", as long as you follow the rules I discussed above. All comments will be reviewed before posting. So get ready, get set and Let Go!! w/Dr. D. Clutter™.

Dr. D. Clutter™

Say Yes?

"Yes" is a powerful word, so use it only when you really mean it.

Dr. D. Clutter™

Happy Birthday!!

Happy birthday, Denzel!! My, my it's been a busy month for you!!

Aunt Dr. D. Clutter™

Extraordinary People

While I was waiting for a graduation ceremony to start, I chatted with the woman seated next to me. She had the inside scoop on the ceremony from the year before. She told me to expect the principal to ask the crowd to hold their applause until each name was read (not likely and didn't happen); she told me on which side the ladies would march in (our side); she told me that the ceremony would last about two and a half hours (correct again). She knew all of these things because just last year, she was a participant and not a spectator. She'd gone back to school and had graduated last year!! I was so inspired. She has two high school aged daughters and said she did it for them as much as for herself. "I couldn't encourage them to do well in school and graduate, when I hadn't done it myself". My heart swelled!! If you don't know, I cry easily when I'm inspired, happy, sad, glad or mad. Now I did not let go with an ugly cry, but my eyes did swell with tears. I managed to pull myself together to tell her what an inspiration she was. What a joyous night. Oh, did I mention that a 70-year old man also graduated that night? Does anyone have a tissue?

Dr. D. Clutter™

Mistakes Welcomed

I'm a strong advocate for making mistakes. Think about it, if you're completely honest with yourself (no one else has to know) haven't you learned as much from your mistakes as you have from your successes?

Dr. D. Clutter™

I often read a small town paper online called the Daily Herald. In the opinion section, there is something called Sound Off! The purpose is for readers to share comments about what matters to them, ranging from topics about life in the city, politics and personal pet peeves, to compliments and complaints. I thoroughly enjoy reading Sound Off! and decided to offer something similar to you, my faithful followers. I love it!! In Sound Off! readers are encouraged to stay on topic, be respectful and the use of foul or obscene language, personal attacks or uses of another's identity to post are not allowed. The rules for what I am calling "Let Go!! with Dr. D. Clutter™" are the same. Every Friday is our official Let Go!! w/Dr. D. Clutter™ day. I'll post your advice, ideas, stories and thoughts. It'll be a place for you to share your life management and organization issues as well as discuss life events that inspire, empower or bother you. You can "leave it all here", as long as you follow the rules I discussed above. All comments will be reviewed before posting. So get ready, get set and Let Go!! w/Dr. D. Clutter™.

Dr. D. Clutter™

On the Radio

What a great show!! I was just on Walden's Blog Talk Radio show and I had a blast!! Thanks to Shannon Mouton (watch out Oprah) and all of the folks at Walden. To the listeners and chatters (esp. Danielle), thanks for taking the time to stop by for a visit.


Dr. D. Clutter™

Later

Do you struggle to decide which tasks you should attempt and which can wait? Do you feel as if you're not accomplishing anything during your day? Is "later" a favorite word in your vocabulary? While proper time management is important, you have to make sure that your time management skills match your personality. If you constantly feel in conflict, you're not really in control of your time. Start small; make a list of the things you'd like to accomplish each day and track your progress for at least a week. Ask yourself these questions and adjust your schedule accordingly:
1. Am I accomplishing most of the tasks on my list?
2. Do I seem to carry many of the items over for another day?
3. If yes, why? Is it lack of time or lack of motivation?
4. How am I feeling when I accomplish a task or not?

Dr. D. Clutter™

Computer Clutter

You've spent some time finding the perfect desktop background for your computer. Perhaps it’s a picture of cute puppies or kittens or a picture of a fond childhood memory, but you can't see it because you have too many icons cluttering the screen. The same is probably true for your files. I know you've already figured out where this is heading. Take the time to declutter and organize your computer files. It can be a time consuming task, but only once, because maintenance will take much less time. Organizing your files will make your daily computer time run more smoothly.

Dr. D. Clutter™

Simple Inspiration

I seem to glean ideas about life management from the most unlikely sources. Sometimes a character on television inspires me (that seems to happen more and more lately, not that I watch THAT much television, SMILE). Other ideas are inspired by something I've read (no plagiarism, just inspiration), by a conversation or by observation. I can hear the wind blow or see it pushing a leaf across the street and, BOOM-inspiration. What inspires you?

Dr. D. Clutter™

We've Missed You!!

I'm sure you've received catalogs or postcards from companies that read "We've Missed You!!" I have. What they are truly saying is that they miss us parting with our money and giving it to them in exchange for a service or product. I don't have a problem with the solicitations since I know how to stop them if I want and hey, they're trying to survive this economic hardship too. However, it would be nice if we could get that type of attention from the people in our everyday lives. So, join with me in telling people that they are missed & valued.

Dr. D. Clutter™

I often read a small town paper online called the Daily Herald. In the opinion section, there is something called Sound Off! The purpose is for readers to share comments about what matters to them, ranging from topics about life in the city, politics and personal pet peeves, to compliments and complaints. I thoroughly enjoy reading Sound Off! and decided to offer something similar to you, my faithful followers. I love it!! In Sound Off! readers are encouraged to stay on topic, be respectful and the use of foul or obscene language, personal attacks or uses of another's identity to post are not allowed. The rules for what I am calling "Let Go!! with Dr. D. Clutter™" are the same. Every Friday is our official Let Go!! w/Dr. D. Clutter™ day. I'll post your advice, ideas, stories and thoughts. It'll be a place for you to share your life management and organization issues as well as discuss life events that inspire, empower or bother you. You can "leave it all here", as long as you follow the rules I discussed above. All comments will be reviewed before posting. So get ready, get set and Let Go!! w/Dr. D. Clutter™.

Dr. D. Clutter™

Happy Birthday, Moma!!

Join me in wishing the best mother God ever created, a Happy Birthday!! I would show pictures, but she's very humble, private and a surprisingly fast runner and could probably catch me if I did post pics!!

I am grateful you're my mother!! Happy birthday!!

Daughter Dr. D. Clutter™

Madam Salutatorian

The aisle walk!!
Congratulations to Tia. She was chosen as Salutatorian of her graduating class and had the honor of reading a poem she composed. We are very proud!!





She's Official!!













Dr. D. Clutter™

She Did it!!

Well, today is Tia's (yes, I used your real name)day and in twelve or so hours, she'll be a high school graduate!! Seeing that she is painfully shy, I truly appreciate her allowing me to share her day with you. Okay, she didn't exactly give me direct permission, but it was implied (SMILE). Congratulations Tia!! Pictures to follow the ceremony.

His Day!

I am still glowing from my nephew's graduation. I was privileged to be a part of this wonderful beginning of a new phase of his life. The "real" world is waiting anxiously to greet him. We'll stand behind, beside, above and beneath him as he takes his first steps. We'll be there to applaud for him when he succeeds and to console him when life has not been so kind.

I also encourage you to read anything written by Patrice Gaines. She was the commencement speaker. Powerful!!

As promised, pics from the ceremony:


"Please no autographs!!"










"Could I be any happier?"









The graduate and the proud aunt!!










Dr. D. Clutter™

He Did it-Again!!

That's my nephew Denzel running away to make sure no one can catch him to make him give back his diploma!! No seriously, he's reached yet another milestone-high school graduation. No one can take that away from him and I am very proud aunt!! Denzel, it's off to college in the fall, so enjoy the last few weeks of freedom!!

I'll have pictures to share later today after the ceremony.

Aunt Dr. D. Clutter™

The Tongue

Which of your muscles is the most powerful? The tongue. How amazing is it that a muscle so small can cause problems so large? It can be used to build someone up or tear someone down. Use yours to promote goodness and positivity, not to support evil and negativity.

Dr. D. Clutter™

I often read a small town paper online called the Daily Herald. In the opinion section, there is something called Sound Off! The purpose is for readers to share comments about what matters to them, ranging from topics about life in the city, politics and personal pet peeves, to compliments and complaints. I thoroughly enjoy reading Sound Off! and decided to offer something similar to you, my faithful followers. I love it!! In Sound Off! readers are encouraged to stay on topic, be respectful and the use of foul or obscene language, personal attacks or uses of another's identity to post are not allowed. The rules for what I am calling "Let Go!! with Dr. D. Clutter™" are the same. Every Friday is our official Let Go!! w/Dr. D. Clutter™ day. I'll post your advice, ideas, stories and thoughts. It'll be a place for you to share your life management and organization issues as well as discuss life events that inspire, empower or bother you. You can "leave it all here", as long as you follow the rules I discussed above. All comments will be reviewed before posting. So get ready, get set and Let Go!! w/Dr. D. Clutter™.

Dr. D. Clutter™

Follow Your Heart?

I’ve heard it said that you can’t be a failure if you follow your heart. What if your heart and head don’t agree? Which one would you choose to follow?

Dr. D. Clutter™

He Did It!!

I am so very proud to announce that my nephew, Denzel, earned his driver's license today!! Be afraid, be very afraid (SMILE)!! I've already requested that he let me know when he's going to drive so that I can stay off of the streets. Seriously, I'm very proud that he has achieved this very important milestone.

A picture REALLY is worth a thousand words.











Dr.D. Clutter™

Honesty-Not!!

I love the Golden Girls and Sophia is my favorite character. She’s brutally honest and forthright, often at the expense of others. Her one character flaw? She ‘s not so receptive to being criticized (not that any of us would be either). In one episode, she’d composed a little ditty, asked the other ladies for their honest critique and then totally dismissed it. The lesson to this story? Don’t ask for someone’s honest opinion and then tell him or her it’s not what you wanted to hear.

Dr. D. Clutter™

Regrets

I was talking to my best friend, Mother McClurkin, who is almost 95 years old. I asked if she had any regrets in the way she’d lived her life. She said that although she tried not to focus on past mistakes and problems, she did have things she wished she could change. If she, at almost 95 years old has regrets, it makes me chuckle when I ask other people much, much younger and they have none. Of course, I guess it’s possible to live your life with no regrets, but that hasn’t been my experience. While I too, don’t focus on those things I can’t change, I do have my moments of “could’ve, would’ve, should’ve. I think on them and if I can change my current circumstances based on a past experience, I do. But if I can’t, I may have a pity party-but it’s only for a few moments and then I move on. What about you?

Dr. D. Clutter™

I often read a small town paper online called the Daily Herald. In the opinion section, there is something called Sound Off! The purpose is for readers to share comments about what matters to them, ranging from topics about life in the city, politics and personal pet peeves, to compliments and complaints. I thoroughly enjoy reading Sound Off! and decided to offer something similar to you, my faithful followers. I love it!! In Sound Off! readers are encouraged to stay on topic, be respectful and the use of foul or obscene language, personal attacks or uses of another's identity to post are not allowed. The rules for what I am calling "Let Go!! with Dr. D. Clutter™" are the same. Every Friday will be our official Let Go!! w/Dr. D. Clutter™ day. I'll post your advice, ideas, stories and thoughts. It'll be a place for you to share your life management and organization issues as well as discuss life events that inspire, empower or bother you. You can "leave it all here", as long as you follow the rules I discussed above. All comments will be reviewed before posting. So get ready, get set and Let Go!! w/Dr. D. Clutter™.

Dr. D. Clutter™

All About Town

It's your day off. Your day of rest is finally here, but you can't enjoy it because you have 25 hours worth of activities to cram into 24 hours. What to do? First, breathe. Then, plan. You know you can't do it all and shouldn't force yourself to try. Combine like activities or look for stores that serve multiple purposes to cut down on the number of stops you'll have to make. Does your grocery store also offer automotive services, a bank and other services? If not, find one that does. Delegate some of the activities that others can help you complete. Can a friend or your husband or wife drop off the dry cleaning while you shop for groceries? Can the children do some of the housework? Of course they can. Maybe, just maybe, there'll be time for you to enjoy your day.

Dr. D. Clutter™

Encouraged

It's amazing how much a few kind words can brighten your day. A past client emailed me such an encouraging note today that it brought a smile to my face. Take the time to encourage someone today!!

Dr. D. Clutter™

Let go pic

Working-Not

Here's a bulletin that won't be a surprise to those of you have followed me for any length of time. I hate to work. If anything feels like work, I don't want to do it. Having to be somewhere Monday-Friday, from 9 to 5, with an hour for lunch is just not for me. Recently, on my bent to experience new things, I participated in a little exercise called "work" to see if my feelings had changed. I'm happy to report that my feelings are the same. I still hate to "work". Now, don't flood me with responses saying that you HAVE to work to survive and support your family. That's not what I'm talking about. I fully understand that the majority of people in the world have to trade time for money. So do I. What I'm talking about is performing a task that brings me so much joy, happiness and peace of mind that it doesn't feel like work. It took years for me to achieve that and it was not without major sacrifice, but when I put my head to my pillow, I feel good about not "working". Find your passion and follow it.

Dr. D. Clutter™

Memorial Day

Join me in taking the time to honor those who gave their lives to serve our country. Let's make this day more about those men and women than about the beginning of summer vacation and cookouts. While those things are acceptable, please take a moment to remember those for whom the holiday was created. Please, if you have a loved one you'd like to honor, send their name and branch of service and I'll list them. I'll start with my grandfather:

James Payden, Army

Purcell Matthews, Navy from Tia R. Chase

Dr. D. Clutter™

Paper Trail?

Have you ever looked at a stack of papers and imagined that it had feet? You figure that it must because the stack wasn't as high yesterday. Do you find yourself thinking that? Paper clutter (or clutter in general) is like that. What starts as a simple sheet seems to morph into a pile in no time at all. Of course paper can't walk, so you know it's not the paper. Cut the trail off at the beginning by not allowing it to "grow" in the first place. I've said it before. Do something with each piece as soon as you touch it. File, shred and act on paper to keep it from "growing feet".

Dr. D. Clutter™

Kitchen Aid

I recently helped a friend to declutter and organize her kitchen. She was greatly appreciative. She told me that her kitchen now looked like a kitchen and she could actually use it for its intended purpose. Plainly, she could eat at her table (and see it again), store food in her refrigerator and wash dishes in her sink-you know, normal kitchen stuff. "Everything is so neat and scrubbed. I feel differently now when I walk into this room. I had avoided this room as if it was the plague, but now I don't have to fear it anymore". She'd concurred her fear and disorganization. More importantly, she felt empowered to concur other areas of disorganization in her life. That's a gift that really keeps on giving. Priceless.

Dr. D. Clutter™

Purpose?

Do you find that you hold on to items that serve little or no purpose? The items have no sentimental or monetary value, except the price you paid, yet you won't discard them. Why? Be brutally honest with yourself about why you feel the need to hold on to items of no value. If an item is past its point of function, value or sentimentality, let it go.

Dr. D. Clutter™

Punctual

I was watching a "reality" show on a local cable channel and one of the peeves of the viewers was that one of the "characters" was always late. When she was confronted, she decided to use her children as her excuse, which wasn't readily accepted. Many of the events to which she chose to arrive late began well after her young children should have been tucked away and gone "beddie-bye". One thing I pride myself on is being punctual. Of course, there's the occasional slip-up and I may be a few minutes late, but it's a rarity. I've talked about this before, but it's such an issue for many, it's time to do it again. What you're saying with your actions (or lack of-by not being present) is that your time is more precious than the person who has taken the time to invite you to an event. Remember a start time is not an approximation. Arrive when you should-on time.

Dr. D. Clutter™

Start Small

I had a client who suffered from massive clutter, so we started slowly with just a small bag a day. Today's challenge is to start small. Throw away something unimportant and that has no meaning. You should start to feel "lighter" and more in control. Do this for the next seven days and let me know the results.

Dr. D. Clutter™

Just Do It-Again

I've touched on this subject before, but it warrants revisiting. A newfound friend and I were talking about our after vacation habits. I am the type who does not really like to travel, but will. She likes to travel and takes every opportunity to do so. She shared with me that she dreads the return because she hates unpacking, washing clothes and putting things back after the vacation, so she waits a few days to do any of that. I'm the opposite. While I don't LOVE unpacking and washing clothes, I don't loathe them either. Putting things back in the proper place-love that!! Anyhoo, we discussed the pros and cons of each of our behaviors. I am happy to report that she has come over to the other team. She's a convert!! She realizes and now appreciates that if she performs those tasks as soon as she returns, she is less frustrated, stressed and doesn't have to avoid the elephant in the room-procrastination.

Dr. D. Clutter™

Chaos

I was watching Jay Leno the other night. Yes, I should have been asleep, but it was one of those nights when sleep was not my friend. Jamie Lee Curtis was a guest and was talking about her need to be organized. Jay retorted that he lived a life that was ruled by the belief that in chaos, there is order. Well-NO. There is no order in chaos, only CHAOS. Yes, for many years people have said that they function better in a messy environment or can find anything they need in the midst of disorganization. Again-NO. Do you see the pattern here? Order is order. Chaos is chaos. Disorganization is disorganization.

Dr. D. Clutter™

Make The Time

How many times have you ever uttered these words? "I'll do it when I get the time." Probably more times than you will admit. I was driving along in my car yesterday, listening to a comedy routine on the radio and heard these words: "You don't get time, you make it". Okay, that’s not so funny, but is poignant; no truer statement has ever been spoken. If you've been putting off doing things because you're waiting to "get the time"-STOP. Make those things a priority and "make the time".

Dr. D. Clutter™

A Second

I had the opportunity to meet two wonderfully interesting people yesterday, both senior members of our society. The man was a retired firefighter and the woman, a minister. They both shared stories of how the world, their neighborhoods and the people in them had changed in their lifetime. They both expressed sadness that people didn't seem as friendly as they used to be. As people passed by their homes, they shared, the simple gesture of returning a response to a simple five-letter word, seemed to elude them. The word? "Hello". It takes less than a second to say it. I know, I timed it, but go ahead, time it yourself. Unless you're like the Forest Gump character and add syllables to every word, it's less than a second out of your life. Take the time-A SECOND-and say hello.

Dr. D. Clutter™

Perspective?

Are you a glass half full or a glass half empty kind of a person? Are you a pessimist or an optimist? Life is full of encounters and events that allow you the opportunity to be positive or negative. It's how you choose to perceive those encounters and events that determine your outlook. Choose to be positive.

Dr. D. Clutter™

It's Not the Hope Diamond

Do you have a mini anxiety attack each time you have to throw something away. Do you have to "retire" to your bed at the thought of parting with your treasures? Let me help alleviate your fears: You'll probably never discard anything that is irreplaceable or that holds extreme sentimental value. As for the other "stuff", don’t be as "careful" about letting go. You'll not only lighten your "load", but you will improve your life as well.

Dr. D. Clutter™

Life Altering Change?

Would you agree that it's easier to maintain a way of life versus making a major life change? For some the answer would be a resounding, "Yes!!" but for others, an even more resounding, "No!!" It's usually a lot easier and more sustainable to make small changes that you will be able to maintain, than it is in declaring, "I will change my entire life", and then falling woefully short of that goal. I've said it before and it bears repeating, "Small and consistent is the way to affect the most effective change".

Dr. D. Clutter™

Why Am I?

Have you given any thought to why you are disorganized or have clutter in your life? One person may say it is because of a family history, "I was raised that way." Another person may say, "I became overwhelmed by a life event and never recovered". Both are part of a long list of absolutely valid reasons. Here's my challenge to you. Don't allow the past to control your present or future. Take control and make a change that will improve your quality of life.

Dr. D. Clutter™

Temptations

No, I’m not talking about the famous singing group; I’m talking about those things that cause you to make negative choices. For me, that includes food and shopping. I love both equally. I have to fight daily to make certain I don’t eat the wrong foods and buy too many things I don’t need. To help in my battle, I rarely bring into my home those things that are my triggers-you know, basically anything that tastes so very good, but is also not so very healthy for me? Seriously, I love and crave sugary snacks and any carbohydrate, so I am very careful not to buy those things or at least not to buy them in any great quantity. I don’t believe in total deprivation because that just makes the thing you crave all the more “sweet” and makes you want “it” more. I have been known to put myself on “restrictions”. That's where I only allow myself to eat my favorites in moderation on certain days (usually Sunday) and only after exercising faithfully because of my “temptations”. As for shopping, I always shop with a list. Just as you’ve heard that you should never grocery shop while you’re hungry, you should not shop while “wanting”. One way I combat this is as soon as the mail is delivered, I shred or trash circulars. Here’s my thought: if I didn’t think I needed something until a catalog “told” me I did, then I really didn’t need it. So I won’t be “tricked” into thinking I do. Make sense? I’ve won a partial battle by limiting the number of catalogs that come into my home by opting out of most junk mail, but a few still make it in. Honestly, it’s a daily battle, but one that I claim victory over-most days. All in all, you have to identify those things that you know will use all of your will power, prayer, and coping skills. Maybe for you it’s not food or shopping, but whatever it is, identify it and take steps to conquer the temptation.

Dr. D. Clutter™

Favorite Things

If you're alive and on Earth, you've seen the Sound of Music, or at least heard the songs-it's unavoidable. I love the songs from that movie, especially the one about favorite things. Julie Andrews singing about rain drops on roses and snowflakes just makes me smile. Take the time to think about your favorite things and challenge yourself to create a poem, story, list or song. Then, when you're feeling sad, you can think about those things and hopefully start to feel better in no time at all. I've placed the lyrics below for you to enjoy. I'm sure you'll hum the tune all day long and not be able to get it out of your head. I apologize (SMILE).

Dr. D. Clutter™


My Favorite Things

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens
Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens
Brown paper packages tied up with strings
These are a few of my favorite things

Cream colored ponies and crisp apple streudels
Doorbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles
Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings
These are a few of my favorite things

Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes
Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes
Silver white winters that melt into springs
These are a few of my favorite things

When the dog bites
When the bee stings
When I'm feeling sad
I simply remember my favorite things
And then I don't feel so bad

Copyright 1965 by Richard Rodgers & Oscar Hammerstein 2d

My Special Day!!

This is a special alert!! If you were not aware of the newest national holiday, let me bring you up to speed. Today is my birthday!! Okay, so it’s not a national holiday (yet), but I celebrate it as if it was (without the parade).

As a child, I felt so much happiness, coupled with unabashed excitement of the impending day when it was nearing my birthday. My mother always baked a cake for me and despite the fact that they were often lopsided (you try baking with 2 or 3 sons in the kitchen and see how well your cakes would look), I loved them. There were usually just a few people at my “party”, mainly my mother, grandmother, and brothers and on occasion, a cousin or friend. But it felt as if I’d had one of those Hollywood type parties celebrities throw for themselves; lavish, festive and memorable. I would tell anyone that my birthday was coming or was here (it was a kinder world then). But then a strange thing happened as I got older; my “happiness” was replaced by gratefulness. I don’t feel those child-like emotions or even get excited about my birthday anymore. Instead, a strong feeling of gratitude for the blessing of another birthday has replaced those more outwardly visible emotions.


I don’t worry or concern myself with the fact that I’m a year older, or that I’m aging; I’ve never been concerned with getting older or finding the fountain of youth. My fountain springs eternal, internally. Does that make sense to you? It makes perfect sense to me. I embrace that I’m getting older (and hopefully, wiser)!! So, there will be no lopsided cake this year. My grandmother is in heaven and my brothers, cousins and friends are living their lives, so there won’t be a “party”. Despite all of the changes, it’s still a great birthday.



Well, it’s off to the spa to be pampered, then to a tranquil place to watch the birds, planes and boats. Then there’s dinner (Mommy’s still hanging in for that). Wow!! What a great birthday and I’m so GRATEFUL!!

Samaos

Mindless is often defined as giving or showing little attention or care, whereas mindful relates to being attentive, aware or careful. Confession time-I can be totally mindless when there is Girl Scout cookie, specifically Samoas within 100 feet. I seem to lose all control and want to eat the entire box (or two). To combat this, when I buy them (hey don’t judge me, I am supporting a great cause and my niece, Diamond in the process-or at least that’s what I tell myself) I keep one box out and freeze the rest. You would think that would be the end of the story and I could wow you with my ability to resist the urge. Not so. I have, in the past, been known to eat them while frozen. Yes, even I have my moments of weakness. Here’s what I tell myself: the cookies are only available for a short time and then the temptation is gone. If I eat more that a couple, I know that I then have to either accept that I’ve let the “cookies” win and feel sad or mad at myself. That doesn’t work very well for me because I don’t like berating myself. I love me. What I do instead is tell myself that it’s over and accept my momentary lapse. Of course, I also tell myself that for my indulgence there is a consequence-EXERCISE-above and beyond the normal. So, when the Girl Scout cookies come, I’m prepared to “eat and run”, literally.

Dr. D. Clutter™

Keyless

Locksmith is a word that sends shudders up my spine. Think about it. Is it ever good if you have to call one? Normally, you need one because you're in a not-so-nice situation. You know, you've gotten out of your car and "SLAM", you close the door, but the keys are still in the ignition or on the seat. Or, you've just left your home and "SLAM", the door closes and you look back to see your keys still lying on the table or hanging on the hook (neither is good for your safety as no one should be able to see your keys through your door, but that's another day's post). Oh, the feeling of dread that washes over you. You're locked out!! Here's a simple, easy, tried and true solution. Always do a "visual check" just before you close the door. What I mean is, don't assume you have your keys because you think you put them in your purse, backpack or briefcase. Unless you physically have your keys in your hand, don't assume you have your keys. Each time I leave my home or get out of my car, if my keys are not in my hand, I do a "visual check" of my bag. No sighting of the keys and I don't close the door. I've never had to call a locksmith, so I must be doing something right.

Dr. D. Clutter™

Proof of Purchase

I've discussed the need to save receipts before. Well, here's a little story that highlights the importance of keeping those pesky little buggers. Recently, my very necessary and often used digital camera decided to pitch a tantrum that would put any two-year-old to shame. All of my pictures had horizontal lines going through them or even worse, a gray panel blocking all or part of the picture. On, no, I was not a happy Life Management Specialist at all. I promptly contacted the manufacturer for repair since it was still under warranty. The first question they wanted to know was if I had "proof-of-purchase". "Certainly, I do", I was able to respond. Needless to say, within a couple of hours, my camera was on its way for repair, at no expense to me (I even managed to finagle a prepaid UPS label). Sweet!!

Dr. D. Clutter™

Smile Factor

This is a challenge. Smile at every person you see today. Heck, go even further and just smile as you sit at your desk, or as you walk down the street, or sit in you car, stuck in traffic. Yes, people will probably wonder what's "wrong" with you and question your "sanity", but don't be bothered. Just keep on smiling!! I'm sure you'll have many interesting interactions and interesting stories to tell. Please share them.

Dr. D. Clutter™

Death of Time

I recently read the classic book, Madame Bovary and watched the movie as well. It is a wonderful story and I highly suggest you read the book and or watch the movie version. No cheating-read the book first. I won't retell the story here, but she was one of the unhappiest and most unfulfilled characters I've ever read about. In the book, the author told of her boredom by saying that even the striking of the chime on a clock served to announce and remind her of the "death of another hour". What a sad state to view time in that way. Yes, with each passing second, time that has passed will never be recaptured. It is gone forever. But if you use your time wisely and make the most of as much of it as you can, you won't be as negative as Madame Bovary was about it's passing. You will anticipate the joy that can come in the next, second, minute, hour and beyond.

Dr. D. Clutter™

Social Networks

Twitter, Facebook, MySpace and others are all in some way social networks. Now, I'm not adverse to technology and progress, but I'm still a bit old fashioned and enjoy the human social network.

Picture it, D.C., 2009 (that's my homage to Estelle Getty, "Sophia" from the Golden Girls), a day with no face-to-face human interaction. You wake up to the sound of the alarm clock, stumble into the shower to the voice of someone coming from the radio. No interaction from a morning conversation. Breakfast is a piece of toast and a cup of juice. No interaction with a person in the drive-thru or the grocery store. You're working from home, so there are no co-workers' cubbies to visit or to meet at the water cooler. So you sit at your desk, turn on your computer and read and return emails. Those are your "conversations". When you call into the office, the system is automated and you don't ever need to "speak" to a live person, just push a series of buttons. For lunch, you make a sandwich and a salad and eat in front of the television. No interaction with a live person, just reactions to characters on the television. You make a run to the bank, but have no need to visit a teller; you simply use the non-human ATM. You need gas, but there's no attendant to pump it anymore, so you swipe your card, fill your tank and drive off. Not even eye contact was necessary. At the end of the day, you heat up leftovers and go online to update your "page". Finally, human contact. NOT. All you see is a small picture of friend, family or stranger, as they post their thoughts, moods and stories. Ahh, the end of a long, human-less day. Now wasn't that fun?

Dr. D. Clutter™

Motivation

Do you find you're often chasing a carrot on a stick? Do you require a great deal of external motivation or are you more intrinsically motivated. I'd have to say that I'm more of the latter. It's great to have someone inspire you to do great things and I would not be the person I am without those types of people in my life. But make sure you strive to motivate and inspire yourself as much or more than anyone else possibly can. After all, you'll reap the benefits and rewards.

Dr. D. Clutter™

She Said, I Said

I once had a client who "ALWAYS" said she could "NEVER" get and remain organized without someone helping her. One of our typical conversations sounded like this: "Okay, since you "can't" do it alone, always have someone to help you organize", I said. "But my friends and family are often busy or just don't want to help", she said. "Well, I said jokingly, "You could always stay with me as a client, forever". "Well, maybe, but that would require a lot", she said. "What's the alternative since you said you could "NEVER" get and remain organized alone? What else can you do?" Well, you can imagine the rest of the conversation and the outcome. My client could remain organized; she just needed to know and believe that she could. She also needed to know and use the proper strategies and techniques. We still work together on maintaining her new organization, but she does most of the work and many times, she does it alone. She said she couldn't, I said she could. She worked, learned and put into action those changes that were necessary for her success.

Dr. D. Clutter™

Visualize and Actualize

This one is simplistic, yet complex, if you make it that way. When you're trying to accomplish a task, you first need to be able to see it, right? That's the visualize part. That's when you allow yourself to think about all of the possible scenarios and outcomes, pitfalls and hurdles, problems and solutions. Next, and this is often where most people make it complex, you actually have to put forth the effort to accomplish the task; that's the actualize part. Visualize the action and actualize the vision. Simply put-see it and do it.

Dr. D. Clutter™

Hands Off

This is a problem that many people have told me they encounter. A family member is having difficultly managing many aspects of life and it's manifesting itself as a disorganized and cluttered space. So, the family rallies to "declutter and organize" the space. Oh, they are proud of all of the hard work and literal blood, sweat and tears from the effort; but it's short lived. Slowly, but surely, the space returns to its original state. Frustration ensues because it should be easy to "maintain". This is where I say, "Hands off". Yes, I'm saying to let the disorganization return. Egad, has she lost it again? No, I have not. Here are your choices: become the clutter police and post guard outside the offender's room to watch her every move. Or you can say, this is your issue and until you are ready to deal with it, I'll support you, but I won't stress myself about it. It's your choice. Now, here's a caveat to that scenario. If it's a child, elderly person or someone you know who "can't do it alone due to a physical or mental issue, continue to offer your help, but if it's an able bodied person and she just isn't ready to change and it does not affect your day-to-day living, again, I say, "Hands off".

Dr. D. Clutter™

The Scheduled Chef

I love to cook. I love everything about cooking, from deciding on the recipe, to preparing the shopping list, to shopping for the items and then hunkering down in the kitchen to prepare my feasts. Of course I delight in the finished product because I love to eat too!! But, here’s the thing-I don’t love to cook everyday. I am the defrost-leftover-just-add-fresh-vegetables-and-fruit-queen. I schedule a time, usually on the weekend (but sometimes during the week) and cook “up a storm”. I enjoy one-pot wonders, soups, stews and casseroles; lean meats and poultry. The deep freezer is one of my favorite inventions. By cooking so much at once, I can simply decide what I’m in the mood to eat, go to the freezer, get it and in no time, it’s time to dine. It is such a time saver. Yes, it requires an upfront investment of my time, but the return on investment is well worth it.

Dr. D. Clutter™

Perfection

Do you remember the game called “Perfection”? You had a set amount of time to place geometric shapes into the proper place before the board would “pop up” sending your pieces flying everywhere and your turn would end. I was pretty good at that game; okay, I was great (much to the disdain of my brothers and anyone else who dared to challenge me). I remember the feeling of excitement, pressure and stress as if it was yesterday-what a rush!! But, I also remember feeling relieved when it was over. In the game, I didn’t mind feeling pressure and stress because I knew it would end shortly, but I sure would not want to live everyday feeling that way. If only Perfection was just a game. Unfortunately, for some, it’s not. When you set rigid constraints and unrealistic goals, you put undue stress on yourself. Striving for perfection may work in theory, but it is hard to maintain in real life. Don’t do that to yourself. Be realistic in what you can truly accomplish in a set time and learn to accept that “Perfection” is just a game.

Dr. D. Clutter™

Alone versus Lonely

I can count on one hand, with the thumb and pinky out of the equation, the number of times I’ve been lonely. I would need to use my hands and feet and those of a few family members and friends, to count the times I’ve been alone. Are you feeling lonely or alone today? Be sure to make the distinction between the two. If you’re feeling lonely, think about the reasons why. Is it that you’ve isolated yourself, or do you have trouble making friends? Is your loneliness self-imposed? If your loneliness is a symptom of a medical or psychological condition, ask for help. If it’s not, find someone to talk to or get involved in an activity that will allow you more interaction with others. If you’re alone and you like it, enjoy the moment because it may not last very long. Appreciate the solitude of the moment.

Dr. D. Clutter™

Duly Noted

If you’re the average family, you’re like multiple ships passing in the night. Due to differing schedules, you may not spend as much time together as you would like. Don’t let that hinder your communication. I am a note taker and note “poster” by nature, just ask my family. They are apt to walk into a room and find a note to remind them of something, a request or a question that needs an answer. I usually use notes when the issue is one that affects the entire family and I don’t want or need to email or call each person individually. I place it in a conspicuous place where everyone will have the chance to see it and when we all get together, we discuss it. Just be sure that you don’t use notes in a negative way or as your only mode of communication.

Dr. D. Clutter™

Phone-A-Friend

Have you ever used the memo/reminder function on your phone that allows you to leave a message? I would be lost without it. I use it on a regular basis. I used to share an office with a wonderful woman named Denise, who had a great sense of humor and was a joy to work with. She would often hear me talking on the phone, leaving memos or messages to myself. So, one day, Denise told me she got a chuckle out of the fact that I was, in essence, “talking to myself”. I explained that I did it to make sure I didn’t forget anything I had to do and so that I didn’t have to use my time to write messages on small pieces of paper or use valuable memory to remember it all. By the time I would get home in the evening, I would have multiple messages, mostly from me, to me. Then, when it was convenient, I’d simply retrieve the messages, write them in a binder and act on them at the appropriate time. That way, I had a central and orderly location for my notes, and I could refer to them when I needed to. I use what helps me function at my optimal best. What’s your method?

Dr. D. Clutter™

Levels of Clutter

Here’s an easy system to rate your level of clutter. Green-this is the lowest level, where you may have a few items out of place, but could reorganize in 60 minutes or less, if an old friend called to say she was “in the neighborhood” and wanted to drop by. The Yellow level is next. This is where you have more items out of place than you have in place and it would take you more than an hour, but less than 6 to reorganize. If that friend called, you’d probably ask if she could stop my the next day so that you’d have a chance to “get your house in order”. The next level is Red, and is the highest on the clutter scale. Every item in your house is out of place. You haven’t seen many of them for days or weeks and can’t remember the color of your carpet. If that friend called to say she wanted to stop by, it wouldn’t be a problem because you can’t find the phone to answer it. It would take you more than a few hours, more like a few days to reorganize your home. Be honest today and evaluate which level best describes you. If it’s Green, you have a good handle on your space, but could be more vigilant daily to make sure you don’t move to the Yellow level. Take a little time each day to put items back where they belong. If you fall into the Yellow level, you need to focus on decluttering your space so that you won’t have as many items to deal with. You still maintain some control, may feel slightly overwhelmed, but not completely. You could be in danger of moving up to the Red level if you don’t take the time to get your disorganization under control. If you’re in the Red level, you probably are feeling stressed, overwhelmed and have decided that it’s too much for you to deal with, so you don’t do anything. If this is you, I suggest and encourage you to ask for help. It’s okay. With the proper guidance and education, you can gain the skills and techniques to help you return to the Green level or better. No matter what your level of clutter, it’s important to take a realistic and honest look at your situation. You don’t have to remain in your level of clutter. Taking small steps goes a long way toward regaining control. You may even create a new level. We’ll call that the Black level for absence of clutter. How’s that for a goal? Let’s all strive to be “in the Black”. It’s a profitable place to be!!

Dr. D. Clutter™

Pro and Con List

I had a friend call me the other day. She was dating a man for a while and wanted my advice on how the relationship was progressing and whether she should continue in it. I thought it was funny that she consulted me about her relationship and not him, but I understood her motivation. As the conversation progressed, she explained that he had become distant, aloof and secretive. All red flags, if you ask me, and I told her that. To make a long story short, I suggested she do a pro and con list to evaluate the relationship. I cautioned her not to sanitize the negative aspects and to be honest with herself about the positive aspects. You can imagine how that little exercise turned out. The con side of the list was twice as long as the pro side, yet she still thought it was a viable relationship. Often times a friend may come to you knowing the answer to a problem. They may be hoping you will validate a situation or relationship, which will give them the opportunity to make a decision that is probably not the best one for them. Be very careful of getting caught in this situation. Have them do a pro/con list and then discuss the true aspects of the situation, based on the facts, not necessarily the desired outcome.

Dr. D. Clutter™

Perception

I recently reconnected with a friend from college to whom I had not spoken in over 10years. We spent time hearing about each other’s lives during that 10 year period, including all of the highs and lows, successes and successful failures. It was, as if we’d never lost communication. She still had an infectious laugh and a pleasing personality. She told me I was as “perfect” as she remembered. What?? Okay, let’s stop a moment. “Perfect” was her adjective, not mine. I do not claim perfection, ever, well, maybe in the game Perfection, but that’s it. So I quickly had to correct that false observation and perception. That’s too much pressure for any mere human to bear, yes even me-kidding. It was a sobering thought to know that she’d viewed my life as one of perfection, when I was keenly aware of my weaknesses and shortcomings and thought I’d represented myself as true to form while in college. Isn’t it amazing how someone else’s perception of you may not be a realistic and true representation of who you are? Not that we are responsible for how others view us, but it was an eye-opening moment for me. I’d always considered myself to be transparent-not holding too much back from those around me. Not that I dwell on my imperfections, because I acknowledge them, as they are as much a part of me as my strengths. How do you think other people view you and what are your thoughts about their perceptions? Do you find them to be an accurate assessment or so far off of the mark that they must be looking at someone else?

Dr. D. Clutter™

Go Through

Do you enjoy unpleasant situations? Probably not!! Most of us tend to avoid those situations, people and things that are negative, cause us pain, distress or are difficult and unpleasant. Not to sound overly simplistic or to minimize your situation, but sometimes the most effective way out of those instances and circumstances is to go straight through them. Yes, it may be difficult and you may encounter resistance, but sometimes you really have to go through to get through. So, whatever obstacle is blocking your path today, face it head on, deal with it and hopefully you’ll gain valuable insights that will serve you in the future. More than that I hope you’ll find a successful resolution.

Dr. D. Clutter™

Mail, Mail, Go Away!!

What’s your relationship with your postal carrier? Do you turn off the lights and pretend you’re not home in hopes he will just walk on by? Have you posted no trespassing signs, hoping to deter delivery of your mail? Probably not, but if you’re like a lot of people, mail is not on your list of favorites. Why do you suppose that is? For many, receiving mail has become a headache. It just seems to pile up without any end in sight. Of course that would be a true statement if your mail was an actual object with human properties and could perform the feats we’ve come to attribute to it, but alas, it is not. It’s inanimate. Mail cannot “pile up” or “creep in” or anything else. It’s our inability to deal with it effectively that’s the issue. Okay, here’s the solution. Deal with your mail as soon as it is delivered!! I know that’s a shocking revelation to some of you, but it is the best solution. Decide whether a piece of mail is to be kept (and acted upon), shredded, or filed. Take action so that you don’t have to hide in your house from your friendly mail carrier. After all, what did she ever do to you but deliver your mail? Don’t blame the messenger!!

Dr. D. Clutter™

Brand Loyalty

Both of my grandmother’s were brand loyal. Once they found something they liked, believe me, they did not budge. If it was Sanka or Maxwell House, Pepsi or Coke, that’s what they would buy. It didn’t matter if those items weren’t on sale, and the store brand was-they were loyal. It was a different time then. Those two ladies would have put many of the modern day financial gurus to shame with their ability to budget. Yes, they were brand loyal, but they made sure that despite that, they never went over budget. It still amazes me how much they did with so little, but they did it. Now, I’m a little different. Even though I’m a brand-name type of lady, I like keeping as much of my money in my bank account as possible. I value quality as well, so I won’t purchase an inferior product, but I don’t allow myself to become so brand loyal that I have to file for bankruptcy to have those things. One of my mottos is, “If it’s not on sale, I don’t need it”. I live for a sale and I love discounts and bargains. Let’s face it, in these difficult economic times, we may all have to reevaluate our spending habits. It pays to be a savvy consumer. If you manage your finances properly, you too can “splurge” on the brand names, but if not, stay in the “bargain” aisle until you can.

Dr. D. Clutter™

Moving in the Wrong Direction

I know someone who recently moved into a new house. I was very excited for them, so I offered, as a house warming gift, free pre and post moving decluttering services. That way, they would not take the clutter from the old place to the new house. Well, how many of you would be surprised to learn that my offer was not accepted? I wasn’t. Anyway, as the move day grew closer and closer, I watched as the family packed all of their belongings into old boxes, trash bags, luggage and anything else that could hold “stuff”. There was not a label of contents to be found. No grouping of like items or even grouping by room. Nope, shoes went in with books and dishes went in with sheets-chaos. The move was disorganized, to say the least. Now the clutter and disorganization has been transported to the new house, which was a blank slate and a clutter-free zone. Not anymore. I’m sure some of you are saying, “I would have accepted the help”, but again, I’m not surprised. If you don’t think you have a problem and someone offers help to you for a problem you don’t or won’t recognize, it makes perfect sense. How successful do you think they will be in organizing the new house? I’m not saying that they won’t eventually get it done, but it could have been an easier transition with a little pre/post-move preparation. Why work harder when you don’t have to?

Dr. D. Clutter™

Decisions, Decisions, Decisions!!

Do you ever wish you could have a day when you didn't have to make any decisions, big or small? Well, until that day comes (like the someday you often hear me talk about), you are going to have to make hundreds of decisions a day, many without even realizing that you're making them. Next, question. Have you ever had a day when you just can't seem to make a decision so you decide that you won't decide, so that becomes your decision? I know, confusing, isn't it? During an online seminar, many participants voiced concern over their inability to make decisions, choosing instead to allow "whatever' was "meant to be" to happen. Well, surprise, they've made a decision, if only by default. Look, making decisions or choices is a necessary part of life, whether you are an active, willing participant or a passive, reluctant one. Your ability to make the best choices that help you function at your most optimal can shape your life in the most positive way. Don't sit idly by and let indecisiveness rule your life.


Dr. D. Clutter™