Life management insights, strategies, hints, ideas, and tips from Dr. DClutter™.

Friday, March 6, 2009

Imprisoned?

Many, many moons ago, I wrote a little something; okay, it was a big something, my dissertation. I was just thinking about it, (which happens on occasion), but this time my thoughts went in another direction. To bring you up to speed: my dissertation, Life Outside the Bars: The Psychosocial Effects of Incarceration on the African-American Spouse, dealt with the problems the spouse faced because of the imprisonment of a loved one, with a focus on the shame and guilt, stigma, loneliness and financial issues many of them experienced. I started thinking that those were similar to the feelings many people who live a cluttered and disorganized existence experience as well.

Here's my disclaimer: I am certainly not saying that the two experiences are the same, but they do have a few commonalities. The spouse of an inmate can often suffer from the shame, guilt and stigma from society due to the incarceration of their spouse (sometimes guilt by association). The CD (cluttered and disorganized) may also have feelings of shame and guilt at having allowed life to spiral out of control and the stigma of being seen as "dirty", "a slob", "irresponsible", "late" or "unprepared". Both can experience loneliness because of isolation from family and friends, but the CD's isolation is usually self-imposed, because of the state of their physical surroundings and life. Both can suffer financial hardships; the spouse due to possibly becoming the primary source of income and the CD because of the lost income associated with having to pay repeatedly for items that can't be found or used or lost wages due to tardiness or absences. It's a sad state no matter what the circumstance. But, thankfully, there's hope in both situations. One day the inmate may come home and family reunification may occur. For the CD, seeking help and reclaiming control of surroundings and life can bring peace, relief and a second chance at living an organized life.

Dr. D. Clutter™

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About Me

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I am Dr. Darnita L. Payden, Executive Director/Owner of Dr. DClutter™ Life Management, a division of PreciousOnes™ LLC. I have a Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology and over 20 years of experience working to help clients discover their strengths and talents. Having worked as a therapist, college professor, grief specialist and trainer, I have encountered in my journey many of the issues my clients may face. I have a sincere desire to help you find clarity, organization and independence in your life and environments. I know that life can be hectic, but I desire to help my clients bring as much order, peace and enjoyment back into their lives as is possible. What separates me from the norm? I focus on the client from a holistic perspective. I realize that most people desire a functional and an organized life, but may simply need support, understanding and information about why they have the habits or tendencies that have led to disorganization. I do not perform “quick fixes” or provide “one-size-fits-all” guidance, but I strive to provide strategies to my clients that will be life changing and useful for a lifetime. Dr. DClutter™ is a name well earned!!

Dr. D. Clutter’s™ Publications

  • Simplify. Simplify. How to Declutter Your Life
  • Clutter Makes You S.I.G.H.™
  • Declutter-Four Benefits of an Organized Life
  • Dr. D. Clutter’s™ 21-Day Journey to a New You
  • Dr. D. Clutter’s™ One-Day-a-Week Guide to a Year of Random Acts of Kindness (plus 20 extra days, just in case)
  • Dr. D. Clutter’s™ Wiseisms and Truthisms™ Daily Inspirations, Observations and Humorous Musings

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